In my lifetime my body has tolerated cigarettes, alcohol, binging, purging, sleep deprivation, fast food, and self-hate…
Why on EARTH makes me think it won’t tolerate an hour at the gym??
Don't ever tell other people how I'm feeling without consulting me first. Kthxbi
- Petite Co-Worker: OMG, you guys, I feel SO FAT today.
- Average Co-Worker: Whatever! You're SO TINY!!
- Petite Co-Worker: No, I'm just fat. SO FAT today!!
- Average Co-Worker: Well, if you're fat, then Penny and I are heifers.
- Me: *laughs* I don't feel fat! I've lost 26 pounds this year. I feel amazing!!
- Average Co-Worker:
- Petite Co-Worker: Oh...
- Average Co-Worker: I... We...
- Petite Co-Worker:
- Me: Have a good night, guys.
EPIPHANY: NO ONE IS JUDGING YOU, PENNY.
After 7 years at the same job, I was hired onto a new/better position at a different company. I’d been asking God for a new job for a year and FINALLY I was guided to where I am meant to be. I LOVE my co-workers, I LOVE the responsibilities, and I LOVE the energy I’m surrounded by every day. The ONLY thing I was self-conscious about was my appearance. This new job is one peopled with the fit and perpetual health-seekers of Arizona. I am new to this lifestyle.
FACT: I am always smiling, I have a great sense of humor, a really solid work ethic, and can get along with anyone.
DILUTION: None of this will be recognized by my co-workers because I’m a giant German woman (5’10”, 256 lb.) and that’s all anyone will see. A big, giant girl. I had this forming in my head a few months back after hearing a really mean voicemail someone left on my roommates phone; two male co-workers calling me “the big girl” and saying “she sucks”, despite that I am nothing but kind and a tremendously hard worker.
Yes, even at the ripe age of 28, these words are still hurtful.
Well, It’s been nearly 3 months since I started in this new place and I’m crazy about it. Don’t know if it’s a life-long gig, but it’s definitely long-term. I’ve been having so much fun, I’ve nearly forgotten about the dilution I created when I first started. IN FACT, not only have I made a phenomenal group of friends who want to spend time with me outside of work, I’ve overheard some people talking about me and they’ve only said the nicest things. On top of that, my brother (who EVERYONE loves) ran into a couple of his friends who I work with and told him how much everyone loves me and that my work ethic has not and will never go unnoticed.
My spirits have been lifted so high; they will never come down :)
EPIPHANY: Stop allowing yourself to believe that ALL people are judging you ALL of the time. STAY POSITIVE. Your kind heart and optimism is contagious and will lead you to those who are meant to be in your life. Understand that every time someone is judging you for your looks, they’re only just projecting their own insecurities. It’s not your fault they can’t accept slightly bigger thighs and broader shoulders.
I know you girls hear this all the time, but you are who you are and NO ONE else is like you. NO ONE. Open your heart to everyone even if it’s been bruised because we’ve ALL been there. You’ll be amazed to find out that there’s so much to miss out on if you close yourself off to the world.
God speed to all of you on your journeys be it health, understanding, self-love, self-care, understanding, peace, patience, fitness, joy, etc. YOU ARE SO WORTH IT AND NO ONE CAN TAKE IT AWAY UNLESS YOU LET THEM. YOU HAVE ALL THE POWER.