This is the story of my Eating Disorder.
TRIGGER WARNING: alcoholism, bulimia, binging, family dysfunction, weight (specific numbers), cutting
My name is not Penny Ruth. My name is Jennifer Leigh and I’m a recovering bulimic/compulsive over-eater and I am in my third year of recovery.
I am not writing this as a pity party. I am not writing this to be seen as a hero. This is just a memoir of my disorder and recovery. When I was in the deepest, darkest parts of my ED all I wanted was to find someone who understood what I was going through. If anything, I hope that someone might stumble upon this and find some hope in it. There were definitely moments when I was feeling like life wasn’t worth it anymore, and it wasn’t until I met a support group that I was able to pull myself up and choose life.
I am also hoping that those who don’t understand eating disorders will develop a better understanding of this disease. Those of us who are suffering/have suffered are not to be defined by this disorder. We are not vain or proud. We have struggled to find our place in ourselves and have lost control.
I am not ashamed of my ED. I have learned to see it as a gift because I can talk to and relate to those who are suffering and use my story and what I have learned in recovery to guide and comfort them if they have no one else to talk to.
I am who I am because of what I have been through, and I like who I am.