TRIGGER WARNING: alcoholism, bulimia, binging, family dysfunction, weight (specific numbers), cutting

My name is not Penny Ruth. My name is Jennifer Leigh and I’m a recovering bulimic/compulsive over-eater and I am in my third year of recovery. 

I am not writing this as a pity party. I am not writing this to be seen as a hero. This is just a memoir of my disorder and recovery. When I was in the deepest, darkest parts of my ED all I wanted was to find someone who understood what I was going through. If anything, I hope that someone might stumble upon this and find some hope in it. There were definitely moments when I was feeling like life wasn’t worth it anymore, and it wasn’t until I met a support group that I was able to pull myself up and choose life. 

I am also hoping that those who don’t understand eating disorders will develop a better understanding of this disease. Those of us who are suffering/have suffered are not to be defined by this disorder. We are not vain or proud. We have struggled to find our place in ourselves and have lost control.

I am not ashamed of my ED. I have learned to see it as a gift because I can talk to and relate to those who are suffering and use my story and what I have learned in recovery to guide and comfort them if they have no one else to talk to. 

I am who I am because of what I have been through, and I like who I am.

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I’ve been using the MyFitnessPal app for iPhone for a while and am looking for friends!! Does anyone else use it who wants some followers?

I don’t have Celiac’s, but I do have an allergy to gluten that I’ve been trying to ignore for years. So, I’m FINALLY ready to just accept it and move forward with a gluten-free life.

I’m just really tired of getting sick :(

Can anyone recommend cookbooks, support books, online groups, recipes, ideas, support of any kind, really… Family is German/Austrian and food is prepared abundantly and without much thought outside the traditional. My family is super understanding, I’m just going to have a hard time at family gatherings (which are always centered around food and football)!

I also do a lot of cardio in my daily life (2 miles running + 10 mile bike commute + 8 hour shifts at Trader Joe’s = 5 days a week of serious calorie burning), so I want to make sure I’m staying fueled up the right way without getting sick. 

Thank you so much!!!!

XO, Penny

So, I think I’ve finally started to pull myself out of this funk. For the last couple weeks I’ve been a real downer and I think I’ve finally pushed past it. This is something that just happens from time to time and I always come out of it stronger, but it really wears me down. I feel like I need to hit my reset button and do some sort of cleanse for my body. 

I know there are a LOT out there, but I want to do one that’s healthy and isn’t going to leave me starving for a period of time. Does anyone have any suggestions?

I played softball for years and was a catcher quite often. I’ve recently taken up running more seriously and my knees are starting to feel uncomfortable. I DON’T want to stop running (I love it so much!) but I also don’t want to blow my knees out. There MUST be some knee exercises out there!

Thanks!!

Not once in my life did I believe I would ever be an outdoor runner. While I was highly attracted to the idea, I never made the effort because it just seemed like I wasn’t “right for it”. Well, here I am, day 4 of REAL, OUTDOOR 2 MILE RUNS!! It feels SO GOOD!!

And I am NOT stopping!!

I know everyone is different so I’m curious to know what you’ve done to reach a healthier lifestyle. 

Why on EARTH makes me think it won’t tolerate an hour at the gym??

Well done, friends.

Good on you :)

I finally broke down and bought some protein powder. 

How do you utilize yours? Shakes? In juice? I want to use it for post-workout recovery.

All ideas are welcome!!! :)

XO, Penny