TRIGGER WARNING: alcoholism, bulimia, binging, family dysfunction, weight (specific numbers), cutting

My name is not Penny Ruth. My name is Jennifer Leigh and I’m a recovering bulimic/compulsive over-eater and I am in my third year of recovery. 

I am not writing this as a pity party. I am not writing this to be seen as a hero. This is just a memoir of my disorder and recovery. When I was in the deepest, darkest parts of my ED all I wanted was to find someone who understood what I was going through. If anything, I hope that someone might stumble upon this and find some hope in it. There were definitely moments when I was feeling like life wasn’t worth it anymore, and it wasn’t until I met a support group that I was able to pull myself up and choose life. 

I am also hoping that those who don’t understand eating disorders will develop a better understanding of this disease. Those of us who are suffering/have suffered are not to be defined by this disorder. We are not vain or proud. We have struggled to find our place in ourselves and have lost control.

I am not ashamed of my ED. I have learned to see it as a gift because I can talk to and relate to those who are suffering and use my story and what I have learned in recovery to guide and comfort them if they have no one else to talk to. 

I am who I am because of what I have been through, and I like who I am.

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I earned 591 points for my workout on Fitocracy!

• Cycling +591 pts

  • 1:02:03 || 15 mi || 150 BPM || moderate hills (+591 pts)

Think you can beat me, or want to comment?

Fitocracy is the social fitness community that has helped hundreds of thousands level up their fitness. Start your fitness transformation today!

Now available for free on both iPhone and Android!

I earned 1007 points for my workout on Fitocracy!

• Elliptical Trainer +301 pts

  • 0:30:00 || Intense! (+301 pts)

• Cycling +706 pts

  • 0:39:00 || 4.5 mi || 7.5 mph || 160 BPM || moderate hills (+418 pts)
  • 0:31:00 || 4.5 mi || 9 mph || 160 BPM || light hills (+288 pts)

Fitocracy is the social fitness community that has helped hundreds of thousands level up their fitness. Start your fitness transformation today!

Now available for free on both iPhone and Android!

I’ve been using the MyFitnessPal app for iPhone for a while and am looking for friends!! Does anyone else use it who wants some followers?

I don’t have Celiac’s, but I do have an allergy to gluten that I’ve been trying to ignore for years. So, I’m FINALLY ready to just accept it and move forward with a gluten-free life.

I’m just really tired of getting sick :(

Can anyone recommend cookbooks, support books, online groups, recipes, ideas, support of any kind, really… Family is German/Austrian and food is prepared abundantly and without much thought outside the traditional. My family is super understanding, I’m just going to have a hard time at family gatherings (which are always centered around food and football)!

I also do a lot of cardio in my daily life (2 miles running + 10 mile bike commute + 8 hour shifts at Trader Joe’s = 5 days a week of serious calorie burning), so I want to make sure I’m staying fueled up the right way without getting sick. 

Thank you so much!!!!

XO, Penny

So, I think I’ve finally started to pull myself out of this funk. For the last couple weeks I’ve been a real downer and I think I’ve finally pushed past it. This is something that just happens from time to time and I always come out of it stronger, but it really wears me down. I feel like I need to hit my reset button and do some sort of cleanse for my body. 

I know there are a LOT out there, but I want to do one that’s healthy and isn’t going to leave me starving for a period of time. Does anyone have any suggestions?

I played softball for years and was a catcher quite often. I’ve recently taken up running more seriously and my knees are starting to feel uncomfortable. I DON’T want to stop running (I love it so much!) but I also don’t want to blow my knees out. There MUST be some knee exercises out there!

Thanks!!

Not once in my life did I believe I would ever be an outdoor runner. While I was highly attracted to the idea, I never made the effort because it just seemed like I wasn’t “right for it”. Well, here I am, day 4 of REAL, OUTDOOR 2 MILE RUNS!! It feels SO GOOD!!

And I am NOT stopping!!

I know everyone is different so I’m curious to know what you’ve done to reach a healthier lifestyle. 

There are 2 in the app store and I’m wondering if the one with 5 stars and TONS more reviews is worth the $3.

Just curious. I need the encouragement more these days.

Thanks!